| by Autumn Rose |
I get an email from Grandmother, saying that she is coming down island and is looking for a warm nest for a few nights on her way to Seattle as she travels with her bundle, the Turquoise Heart; the bundle of her Grandmother and her bloodline before her. The first thing that comes up is a very notable “ugggggggghhhhh”, followed slowly by a slight grin, like a jaguar’s. My resistance, and then my truth. I ask my husband what he thinks, and he laughs. He knows; it’s not the first time we’ve hosted Grandmother.
I want to get real and share some of the thoughts that were running through my mind:
“Is Gma going to judge me for how I live my life/raise my children/clean and don’t clean my house/and a bunch of other things that humans are worried about in general?”
“I’m exhausted, her field is so big, I’m not sure if I have the energy to show up in the way that I want to.”
“Is she going to judge me for using cannabis?”
“I wonder how my kids will do with her.”
“She’s gonna call me out on so much shit.”
“I’m so excited for her medicine.” And about a hundred other things, but you get the picture.
Now if you know Grandmother Kaariina, then you know she’s not just any Grandmother. She’s a beautiful and precious gem, and she can shapeshift, you see? She has this magical ability to cloak herself in teal windbreakers and sometimes a good old-fashioned fanny pack, and she has a very, very cute nose. She hops out of her Rav4, and nobody suspects that a medicine woman has entered the field. Nobody knows, and everybody knows. It’s a heightened feeling; you can sense it, but you can’t see it. Everyone in her field is a little bit more multidimensional, but they don’t know why. If you look at her, she looks like a beautiful and kind-hearted older woman. But close to her skin she wears a medicine necklace, woven by the hands of a ninth generation Ayahuasca Taita and his family, up in the misty mountains of Colombia. On her wrist, she carries a tattoo of her very roots, of ancient beings who hold great secrets in their wombs, the Great Lakes. In her car she carries her drum, her altar, her ceremonial necessities; eagle feathers and obsidian as her companions. And in her heart, she carries the truth.
When Grandmother arrived at our door, she brought the truth and so much more. I got schooooollllled, my friends. She mirrored to me my words, my mind, my projections. She showed me my blame, shame, avoidance, and anger. She helped me to access complex structures in my mind that were keeping me from the simple truth of my heart. Grandmothers have this way of taking the overwhelming, never ending snackbar of Motherhood, and breaking it down into bite size pieces. They feed you slowly, one bite at a time. They breathe, reminding you to breathe, and they bless, reminding you to bless. They remind you to chew, to be fully present to the profound act of nourishing ourselves. They ask you to feel as you swallow, and they help you to rest and digest.
Grandmother showed me a mirror of myself, and where I create and destroy my own life with my own hands, mind, and tongue. She also showed me what seventy-one years of walking this Earth can do for a person, and for the world. She reminded me what a gift this all really is, and to be in service of this gift, with every heartbeat, is the way home. Kaariina is a force, and she allowed all four of us an opportunity to step into greater alignment with our truth, and so we did. We blessed our land, and our harvest. We blessed our wounds, and we blessed our future. We did deep work together. We had uncomfortable and necessary conversations. We looked at ourselves and each other, and witnessed new possibilities in all of us. We healed, and for that, I am so grateful.
You should know that Grandmother is my favourite guest! She cleaned my dirty dishes and made us all next level super food smoothies in the morning. She came to the park with me and pushed my baby on the swing. She laughed about constant fart jokes and shared her crystals with my toddler. She freestyled in the kitchen while making breakfast. What I’m getting at here folks, is Grandmother Kaariina is a precious gem, and we are very blessed to have her and her elder medicine available to us, our communities, and our land.
As a Mama of a two year old and a baby, it’s a whirlwind. Postpartum is FOR REAL. Becoming a Mother is synonymous with being in service, more than, and deeper than you’ve ever been in your entire life. It’s a lot, and it can feel a lot like treading water on our nervous systems. Grandmother stayed for a week with us, and in seven days, I was inspired by her medicine, and I drank it up with so many layers of my being. I feel like myself again. I’m clearer, I’m creative, my psychic vision is stronger and I have my gifts buzzing in my pockets. I’m prioritizing myself more, asking for what I need, taking action to get it, and relaxing to receive. I am changing, so everything has changed; my relationship with my husband, my kids, and myself. By choosing to say yes to hosting Grandmother and supporting her bundle as it travels, my family and I have received so much. Sacred ayni. This is the way of the village.
I want to get real and share some of the thoughts that were running through my mind after Grandmother Kaariina left:
“How can I utilize my gifts and passions to raise the vibration of my family, my community, and the planet?”
“How can I be more efficient with my energy in my home and the world? How can we be gentler on the Earth as a family?”
“I feel so clear in my mind and heart. I feel so empowered. I feel so seen.”
“Wow, I’m amazed at how much both my kids grew while she was here.”
“I def feel like I just did a few nights of Aya..”
“I really need to step up my smoothy and coffee game.”
So let this be an invitation of truth for all of you who have benefitted from Grandmother Kaariina’s medicine: if you see that Grandmother is travelling in your area, reach out. Even if there is fear in your belly. Even if you can find excuses not to. Elders bring up fear, and excuses, and a bunch of other coping mechanisms we have. But they also invoke greater joy, deeper play, conversations that count, and visions and prayers that will give you truthbumps all over. I invite you to extend a hand and a heart out to initiated elders. Open up your spaces for them to share their gifts with the people who surround you. Set them a plate at your table and see it change the very way your family tree nourishes it’s own roots. Build them a fire to warm their drum, and see the eagles return to their nest, and the land exhale. Don’t you see? They need us, and we need them. Let’s come together with easefulness and grace, and unite our resources NOW. Let’s choose New Earth together, to support each other, to collaborate together, to merge our medicines and make some fucking magic! We are the ones we’ve been waiting for!
***
Autumn Rose is a fierce Jaguar Queen, currently enrolled in the Mystery School of Motherhood. She is currently cocooning in her nest, fully dedicated to raising two potent seeds of the New Earth. She is inhaling magick and mundane, and is so excited to exhale the medicine that is remaking her flesh and bones in this season of life. Stay tuned. xx
Blessings love,
Autumn 🙂
