This September and October in the Jewish calendar we are in the days of awe: a time of renewal, return and reconnection. The 10 days between Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the day of atonement and return) are called the Days of Awe because of their immense spiritual power. It is a time to let go, to take stock, to return to our essential nature, to who we really are beneath all our worries, doubts, opinions and social conditioning.
On Yom Kippur we make teshuva, which means “to return.” We name the ways we have missed the mark, and pray to return to a good life where we act in line with who we really are in our hearts. I’ve been thinking a lot about the days of awe in my coaching work. I am a coach for social change leaders, and every day I hear clients discuss their most precious goals, dreams and visions for what their life could be, for the impact they want to make. So often coaching sessions are a form of teshuva: returning to the threads that hold the most meaning, taking action in life based on seeing what matters most and what we’re really capable of, trusting we’re here for a reason. We hear the word “coach” thrown around a lot these days. But what does a professional coach actually do? I was recently certified by the International Coach Federation, the global organization that accredits ethical and professional coaches. They define coaching as, “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
I love this definition as it emphasises partnering with and maximising personal and professional potential, both of which I value in my work with my clients. Coaching isn’t the same as therapy (where the focus is on healing) or consulting (where the focus is on imparting wisdom and expertise based on experience.) Coaching is partnering with people to help them see for themselves their own answers for what to do in life’s most tricky and challenging moments. It is a partnership, collaborative, and focused on helping people make real the promise of who they are.
I became a coach after engaging in activism and social change work for many years. I saw too many people – myself included – struggling with burnout. I saw people overwhelmed, stressed and confused as they sought to contribute to the world. I started working with a coach myself, and later became trained as a professional coach, to help those who want to help the world do so more effectively with clarity, focus, ease and a tad bit of grace!I would like to pose a question to you. This is a question my mentor Maria asked me a few years ago, and considering it changed my life. She asked, “would it be alright with you if life got easier?” Consider this question for a moment. Don’t answer right away, really look at it: Would it be alright with you if life got easier?
When she first asked me this, I immediately I got defensive and paranoid. My mind chattered at me all the reasons to run away from this question. “Easier?! What is this woman talking about! The work I’m doing is really hard! That’s just the way it is. She just doesn’t understand how hard I work.” I was miffed. How dare she ask me that!
However, I came to see later that much of what made my work hard wasn’t just the way it is, it was instead what I was bringing to the party that made it hard: how I was showing up, the mental models I was using to view the world, my ideas and opinions about myself that made me work harder than I needed to.
I learned that life can indeed get easier – not easy, because in physical reality everything takes effort and energy to occur, but easier, a sense of ease even when I was giving a lot. I learned to become clear in my underlying intentions for my life, and how to recognize my limiting patterns more quickly, and set them aside without analyzing myself to death, just shifting my attention back to what was important to me.
I got trained in tools, practices and new ways of helping people construct their view of the world that literally makes things easier. Less wasted time worrying about what will go wrong, less wasted energy trying the same things over and over again that don’t work, not learning or making changes (not that I’ve ever done this myself!! 😉
So I’ll ask again: Would it be alright with you if life got easier?
What outdated ways of seeing yourself, others and the world would you need to give up? What would you need to get clear about? What would need to change in what you were bringing to the party of your life for things to get easier?
I work with community organizers, activists, healers, artists, educators, facilitators, and creative changemakers to help you get clear on your vision and move forward past where you’ve previously stopped yourself, so that things can indeed get easier for you.
With me as your coach, we engage in a process in which you see your greatest stopping points, and learn to move beyond them consistently. This way you become free to focus on your vision, dreams, and goals, rather than your doubts, worries and fears. My pragmatic approach teaches you how to create lasting shifts in the way you see and do things — long after the high of an “aha” moment wears off.
Coaching is for you if you want to rise above the fog of confusion and overwhelm so you can develop the skills to consistently take action towards your vision, to be a clear beacon for others to follow towards our collective liberation.
If you’re interested in experiencing coaching, I offer a free 50 minute Discovery Session where you can explore your vision for your life and see if coaching is a good fit for you. You can learn more about me and schedule a discovery session here if you are interested: www.danieljubelirer.com
As we come into fall it is time to harvest what we’ve learned from the year. My wish for all of you is that you have the support you need to learn from everything that has happened to you this year, that you might bring fresh energy and new perspectives to what awaits you next.
Daniel Jubelirer is a coach, activist and educator living in Berkeley, CA. He can be reached at danjube@gmail.com or www.danieljubelirer.com