Rhythmic Lizard Moon:: Grandmother’s Message

Rains returned to Vancouver British Columbia skyscapes, rains that soak the soils, saturate the ancient maples’ roots, rains that cleanse the Hunters’ sweatlodge fire pit, washing away the ashes remaining from six lodges in a row!  Lodges dedicated to ending cycles of violence.

Completing my assignment here at West 36th, one part of the western door of the Medicine Wheel around this 2 million plus city, I tend to the summaries of gratitudes, lessons learned, to the services offered and to the gifts received.  My heart returns to the ORIGINAL PRAYER and the vision for HEALTH for women.  Retrospection is one of my strengths, the thoroughness of turtle medicine, the depth of ancient roots.  Without this, we are not complete, healthy, wholesome, nor are we grateful.
The table upon which I write Messages for this Full Moon is of poplar wood with knots, a natural display of its wholeness.  I am reminded of the WAIVER form (no wavering form) with which we travel: “all lived experiences are a consequence of mutual agreements!”  Yikes! 

Inhaling, deeply exhaling, resting in the pit of my pelvis, in this sacred womb, my ORIGINAL PRAYER was to continue to release the womb wounds of our motherline and here I am! Heart relieved of earlier distressors, seven weeks of living lifetimes with women choosing to travel through generational trauma.  Women as children, youth, partners, mothers who have stood as lone crying wolves, yearning for some kind of change!

Manifestations of unhealthy beliefs, negative images of self as woman, harmful behaviors between self others and earth: anemia and fainting,anorexia bulimia, cancers of breast and prostate in men.

Issues surfacing for the rains to wash them away: spiritual and biological starvation due to loss of mother presence and comfort, scarcity of intimacy, poverty of soul, lack of generosity, lack of trust in women, self hatred embodied with venomous languaging.  All are releases of those KNOTS in the wood or structures of our beings.
Behaviors of silenced sisters have resulted in lack of shared visions or even lack of invitation to share visions and values, lack of consciousness around decision making, lack of genuine honesty, sharing, caring, and thus, COOPERATIVITAS does not live easefully in this five bedroom home in the midst of material wealth.  Loneliness dwells here.

At one point in my Travels and visitation here for the first time in 30 years, living in a city environment, screeching wounded girl child screamed within 3 inches of my face with accusations beyond those KNOTS! Screams like those of indigeneity in the Amazon!  The Amazon rainforests are burning. Australia is burning…. Women are screaming and remembering our burning times!

What a weaving out of modernization, arising from colonization, a rendering of such deeply rooted trauma remaining in the genetics of the sisterhood!

When Travelling with a Bundle amidst such circumstances, one must develop a strong sensibility of when to take a mature time out, one must have other resources to turn to, one must know that the WORK OF TRUTH and ENDINGS CYCLES is not complete.  This common sense is the stance of the spiritual warrior who knows when to retreat!  My retreat was to ancient rocks, up to Whistler BC and my family, to the evergreens still standing without threat of logging.  My retreat was to enter into homes of mountain climbers, back country snowboarders, those whose vision is vast and encompassing mother earth’s great upheavals called mountains.

Ending cycles of violence includes this una embraza, this return to the wild heartedness of my ancestors and descendants.  IT is a mutual agreement to co-create another form of living experience! A fierce and quiet movement to stand for rather than to stand against!

The river of all lifetimes is moving swiftly now.  It is time to jump into the flowing and to be aware with whom does one jump.  If this victim clings, grasps to old images, perceptions, beliefs, behaviors, both will drown in that suicidal despair!  We are here to speak for the rivers, to swim in the oceans of consciousness, to ride the wavelengths of what is moving through our horizontal experiences with breathe !  Surrender is the password for what is leaving and YES is the welcoming for what is incoming!
This wooden table reveals the KNOTS as part of its way of existing. Not separate from. It was logged by two leggeds who had a vision, who valued this wood or standing one for its gifts and was willing to sacrifice itself to fulfill its purpose.  Like Shel Silverstein’s Giving Tree, it gave throughout ages and stages of two leggeds’ lives. 

2020 begins a new decade that without our willingness to retrospect, to harvest the teachings of our mutual agreements and living experiences, what will unfold for our descendants, for our little ones, for those with whom we share this planetary form or realm ?

This Threshold requires severance, a breaking of arrows of agreements that went awry because we were coming from fear to the bow and string! We rode the horses of our will powers with doubt in our strengths and lacking confidence, we fell! Or did not hit the target of compassion.  Violence ensues.

What will we individually commit to as we return from adult time outs, or retreats into ceremonies , medicine plants, ancestral wisdom ways, and silence of vipassana?  How will we re integrate back into a weaving fraught with generational and cultural ignorance and be that ONE THREAD OR YARN that brightens up the entire fabric of our civilization?

How will we show up at the table of the forests, at the table of the hungry,those exhausted by the lies of separation from our true nature?  How will we stand with each other, not arguing for one particular right or wrong , making all selves tainted by judgments? How can our living experiences on earth change if we do not make new mutual and exponentially sizable decisions for LIFE?LIFE FOR ALL OF OUR RELATIONS?

May we begin again, as we return from the turtle shells of our retreats, to stay the course of our collective destinies.  May we stand clearly in our commitments to community and communicate from love.  May we feed our passions for five living experiences that feed the hungry amongst us.  May we be resourceful and fulfill our own primary needs.  May our hearts desires bring peace for all of our relations.  May we aspire to be our best self and when KNOTTED, swiftly forgive!  May we live by our wisest intentions so that our purposes be wildly fulfilled!

Grateful for Travels with this Bundle,Grandmother of the Turquoise Heartom vajra rekhe ah hung